Do you get that spinning your wheels feeling? You are doing everything right, be it in a project, life, or a relationship; and things are progressing. Then out of left field, WHAM! You are blindsided, lost, maybe even hopeless or doing things to sabotage your own progress, and have no idea why. The vicious circle of doubt, depression, and fear. But WHY!? Congratulations my friend, you have been gifted a trauma loop, and it has just kicked in!

Trauma loops are persistent patterns of thought, emotion, and behavior that stem from unresolved traumatic experiences. These loops can feel like the worst rollercoaster in the universe, trapping individuals in a never-ending cycle of chaos and distress. In this short article, we will dive into what they are, why you might find yourself caught in them, but most importantly… how to break free from the cycle.

Symptoms of a trauma loop include nightmares, visual images of the event, loss of memory or concentration abilities, disorientation, confusion and mood swings, intrusive thoughts of the event that occur suddenly, avoidance of specific triggers of the event, social isolation, no interest in formerly fun activities, feeling startled, tachycardia, insomnia, muscle pains, sexual dysfunction, altered sleeping and eating patterns, complaints of pains and aches, extreme alertness, intense fatigue and exhaustion, fear, obsessive behaviors, detachment from others, feeling emotionally numb, depression, guilt, shame, shock, disbelief, feeling irritable and angry, anxiety and panic attacks.

What Are Trauma Loops?

Trauma loops, also known as repetitive trauma responses, are recurring patterns of reactions that occur when an individual faces a situation that triggers something that was traumatic to them in the past. These learned responses were things that your subconscious used to keep you safe when you were not in a safe situation. Symptoms of a trauma loop include nightmares, visual images of the event, loss of memory or concentration abilities, disorientation, confusion and mood swings, intrusive thoughts of the event that occur suddenly, avoidance of specific triggers of the event, social isolation, no interest in formerly fun activities, feeling startled, tachycardia, insomnia, muscle pains, sexual dysfunction, altered sleeping and eating patterns, complaints of pains and aches, extreme alertness, intense fatigue and exhaustion, fear, obsessive behaviors, detachment from others, feeling emotionally numb, depression, guilt, shame, shock, disbelief, feeling irritable and angry, anxiety and panic attacks. Trauma loops can manifest in various forms, some of the most common are:

1. Flashbacks: Vivid and distressing memories of the traumatic event that intrude upon the present moment. You are reliving that moment. You smell the smells, you taste the flavors, you see everything, hear the sounds, and feel the sensations as if you have been teleported right back to the original trauma. It is like a time machine took you back to the moment where you were traumatized and dropped you there with no way home. This is particularly prevalent in veterans of war, the things they see are so hard to process that they often haunt them to the grave. Unfortunately, we see this same reaction with anyone who has suffered a trauma. It can be as full blown as feeling you are literally in that place again, or as simple as the words echoing in your head from that trauma that leaves you frozen.
2. Avoidance: A strong desire to avoid people, places, or situations that remind you of the trauma. The avoidance could be a person, place or type of event that is associated with that trauma. You will do anything in your power to keep from having to deal with that trauma again, so you simply avoid anything that could put you back in that place, even if it will only trigger a flashback, you simply can’t risk it. This deep need to avoid that thing that hurt you, leads to becoming anti-social, or at least what people assume is anti-social. There is a Japanese Manga named “Komi Can’t Communicate”. I resonated with Komi so much that I am basically obsessed waiting for more. The premise is that Komi has severe social anxiety, another thing that can be caused by trauma, and she is so mysterious that everyone is drawn to her… causing her to have even more anxiety. Vicious circle, right? I love that the introduction if the issue in the series says “When a person has extreme social anxiety also known as social phobia, they struggle to communicate with others. We must take into consideration that they are struggling with this, Not that they don’t want to have connections with people, just that it is more difficult for them.” I love this statement because it is so simple to solve such a complex issue. In extreme cases, avoidance can even lead agoraphobia or other panic disorders. Agoraphobia is the extreme fear of being in a place that you can not readily escape and this can be a side effect of a trauma loop, albeit a very strong side effect.
3. Hyperarousal: An intense state of alertness, anxiety, or anger that is disproportionate to the current situation. This can also lead to hypervigilance where you have a heightened awareness of potential threats in your surroundings. While it can help enhance your ability to detect and react to those threats in an effort to keep you safe, it is absolutely exhausting! When you live in this state too long, it effects every aspect of your life and health. One time when I was in high school, we went to a local college and one of the things they did was ask for a volunteer to test a machine. So, this extroverted introvert volunteered. They strapped it to my arm and said “This machine makes a noise when you flex your muscles, the more tense you are, the louder the noise and when you fully relax the muscle it will stop making noise.” I was 17 years old, and for the life of me I could not make that machine stop making noise! That was the first time in my life that I realized how on edge I always am. Even when I am trying to be relaxed, and forcing myself to relax muscles, I couldn’t do it.
4. Dissociation: A feeling of detachment from one's body or emotions, as if observing oneself from a distance. Have you ever “spaced out” or “zoned out”? This is a form of dissociation. You literally shut off your emotions and check out of your body, it can also be called an out of body experience. Essentially in the moment, you are so traumatized that you can’t mentally stay where you are, so as a protection, your brain dissociates from the situation. This is both frustrating and complicated. To the world you look like you aren’t paying attention or maybe you are too lazy or whatever they may say, but the reality is that something triggered some part of you to know that you are not ok and that fight or flight response kicks into overdrive. Of course, this is slightly different than the true fight or flight response because that is physical and dissociation is mental. However, they can be equally effective in keeping you safe.

Why Do People Get Stuck in Trauma Loops?

1. Survival Mechanism: Trauma loops often originate as survival mechanisms, likely in response to the fight or flight response. In the face of a traumatic event, the brain and body respond by developing specific patterns to protect the individual. And just like any learned behavior, these patterns can become deeply ingrained over time. To the extent that you aren’t even aware that you do certain things. I point out to my friends all the time, “You know that is a trauma response, right?” Most of the time they know, but every so often I catch them on one and the look of surprise and having all the pieces click is amazing!
2. Incomplete Processing: Trauma can overwhelm the brain's capacity to process and make sense of the experience. Unresolved emotions, memories, and physical sensations get stored in the body, waiting for an opportunity to be processed. On average, it takes 7-10 years to process a trauma. That is after your brain allows you to remember it. In many cases a trauma can be so severe that in order to protect you, your brain locks the memory away. When this memory surfaces again is when you can start healing from it.
3. Triggers: Certain cues or situations can trigger trauma loops by reminding the individual of the original traumatic event. These triggers reignite the survival response and perpetuate the loop. I don’t think I fully understood the power of triggers till I met my Mother-in-Law. While she is a lovely woman, and we have come to an understanding of care and love, she triggered me BIG TIME! I spoke about this in my book, but long story short, I realized that “good-hearted” poking of fun really is just a fluffy style of bullying. I don’t think she realized it either, but thankfully she is aware now, and we get along much better.
4. Avoidance: People may try to cope with trauma by avoiding reminders, but this avoidance can reinforce the loop. Avoiding triggers prevents the processing and healing necessary for recovery. It can also reinforce the negative self-talk. You may start sad that you couldn’t go somewhere, but then the switch flips and you are telling yourself that you never deserved to go in the first place.

Breaking Free from Trauma Loops

Breaking free from trauma loops is possible, but it requires patience, self-compassion, forgiveness and often professional help. Here are some steps to consider:

1. Recognize the Loop: The first step is awareness. Recognize when you are caught in a trauma loop. This awareness can help you differentiate between past and present experiences. This was absolutely the key for me! I knew trauma loops existed, but not by that name. We used to say “stuck in a rut” and everyone knew that meant you were repeating old patterns that didn’t serve you, or at least that was how I saw it. A trauma loop is just a rut in your brain, a track that you are familiar running so you go back to over and over. At any rate, once I figured out what my loops were, and the triggers that brought me to them, I was able to break them. Do I never fall into one? Of course not! I am still human, the difference is that now, I don’t have to spend as much time in them.
2. Seek Support: You don’t always have to reach out to a licensed therapist or counselor experienced in trauma therapy. Sometimes you just need a friend, co-worker, coach, or other uninvested person to help you see what is happening and break it down. As long as a person can provide guidance and tools to help you process and heal from the trauma, they are a good person to support you. Many people will seek out licensed professionals if they have severe issues that could benefit from medications. I have been to therapists, and social workers, and family and friends. Heck, I have even unloaded on total strangers… each will have a unique perspective and different tools to try to help. I always found it best to have a mix of people to use as sounding boards for my troubles, then I could take the things they offered and use or adapt them to how I process things.
3. Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce the impact of triggers. Staying grounded is huge! It doesn’t mean that the scarry triggering thing isn’t still there and being intrusive, it simply helps you to stay calm and think about what you can control. Learning the things that you can control vs. the things that are out of your control is VERY empowering. The 54321 grounding technique is amazing for this. You name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and 1 that you can taste. This forces your brain to think about something other than the trigger and also tricks the senses to focus on things that are real in the moment, not the flashback you may be going to.
4. Self-Care: Prioritize self-care to nurture your physical and emotional well-being. This might include exercise, relaxation techniques, and a healthy routine. It is hard, especially as a trauma survivor, to practice self-care let alone prioritize it. As a parent, I think it gets even harder. This was so hard for me. I was so convinced that doing anything for myself was just selfish… thanks mom! I am still not great with it, but I try to wake up at least a little early, or stay up just a little late, or steal some small moment every day so I can make sure that I am doing something I want. Full disclosure, this usually happens while locked in the bathroom so the toddler can’t get me. LOL! Even taking 10 minutes to work on yourself, or do something just for you, no matter how silly you may think that thing is, just do it. The great thing about self-care is that it is different for each person. There is no right or wrong way to care for yourself. If it is something that brings you joy, then it is self-care. One of my favorite tiktokers @gregiisms, always says “Find your joy” and I love that! Three simple words to lead your life by.
5. Education: Learn more about trauma and its effects. Understanding the science behind trauma can empower you in your healing journey. Learning about why specific things trigger you is essential to your journey as well. No two people lived the same trauma in the same way, so it isn’t enough to simply know how or why a trauma occurred. You have to go deeper and figure out your why. Why did it cause the reaction that you have now. Once you know why, you can start to heal that wound and move forward from it. Learning from a variety of people in a variety of styles can also be helpful. We all learn differently, so why would we think we all heal the same? The biggest thing I learned about this along my journey, is that everyone’s truth is different. So take the parts of their help that resonate with you, and leave the rest.

Breaking free from trauma loops is a process that takes time and effort. Remember that healing is possible, and with the right support and strategies, individuals can regain control over their lives and move towards a healthier, more balanced future. I would love to have the opportunity to help you heal from your trauma loops, so if you are interested in my years of wisdom, please think about applying for my coaching program. We will be taking applications soon.

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